Wahlao Wonderland!

not being born

Not being born, I didn’t know
this time when Singapore boiled and bled.
Wasn’t spun around by waves
of war cries, strobe lights, sirens, silence,
shouting, nights with a jeep and
a loudhailer; didn’t meet
a man of steel nerves shuddering with sobs,
didn’t sit the rollercoaster of right and might, didn’t live
the cries, the tears, the whys, the fears.

I didn’t know; I didn’t share;
I didn’t fight; I wasn’t there.
And so, although this is my land,
I only love it secondhand.

-Li Xiu Qi, grand-daughter of LKY

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stardust singapore

Ser Ming

 Tarot-card Reader

At Food#03 (http://www.post-museum.org/)

I was brought to Food#03 by a friend in 2008. After hanging out for some time, I started doing numerology reading among my friends who go there as well. After a while, one of my friends suggested why don’t I try doing Tarot card reading instead? 

I asked my numerology teacher about giving Tarot card readings and whether should I attend a course for it. My teacher encouraged me to try reading by picking it up on my own. He had confidence in me, and so I had confidence in myself to go through with it. 

There can be many styles of reading, some more traditional than others. I prefer to go with my intuition, that is, besides observing the meaning of each card, I see the importance of deciphering the illustration of each card as well. I feel that Tarot card reading is not strictly a divinatory technique but more like a forecasting one. As I have always explained to my querents, the cards reflect a person’s state of mind, therefore, if you are of certain characteristics, there are things that you are that may lead you to certain paths. However, everyone has the potential to effect changes in their own lives. As a reader, I feel that my role is to help my querents to understand their direction better and the kind of changes that can be helpful.   

As I used to tell my friends, “Life is like a role-playing game, except that you cannot save and reload.” 

*** 

I try not to let my first impressions influence tarot-readings.During my reading sessions, I tell my querents whatever is reflected on the cards. 

I find what I do very interesting. I have met new friends through giving Tarot card readings this way. I have regular querents that I got to know from the Really Really Free Market (organized by Post-Musuem). They usually come to me to seek direction. Most of them usually have issues in life, and they just want to speak to someone. 

There are times that my readings may not be accurate. It can be a bit ego-denting. My teacher reminded that we are readers, not God, and that so long as I have tried my best and learned where my readings had gone wrong, I should not take it too badly. As readers, we are here to serve our querents by giving them beneficial advice. We’re not playing cluedo, not guessing what had or would happen. 

There are some questions that I do not read, for example, when will a person die or how a person will score in his exams. These questions are not exactly constructive. Knowing how you will die may cause unnecessary anxiety and worries; and knowing how you will score in your exams may cause you to be conceit and hence less mindful. 

Knowing what the cards say and heeding the advices are two separate things. This applies to me too. There was once that my daily reading told me that I should be more patient and attentive. However, as the day went by, I actually lost my patience over a trivial matter. I feel that a person will be more conscious and mindful of his doings if he is serious in heeding the cards’ advices. Without being mindful, it is difficult for a person to make a conscious effort to alter their life direction. 

***

 When I was young, I wanted to be an astronomer. I actually joined the Science club. And you know there were ten badges you can go for? I’m the Young Astronomer. 

I’ve no idea why I was interested. Come to think of it, we used to assemble in the school courtyard in the morning and there were no tall buildings around it. So when I reached school early and laid down on the courtyard, I could see a lot of stars. Even though I haven’t been reading (on astronomy), still have that influence lah. I’m really fascinated by stars and how we’re related to them. 

I was raised by typical Teochew parents. My parents didn’t receive much education. My Dad hardly speaks Mandarin, so I speak Teochew to him. I feel that this actually helped me to stay connected to my dialect. Between my parents, my Mom usually plays the bad guy role, the disciplinarian. I always remember what she says, “就因爲我們是窮人，所以要更有骨氣，不可以去偷! (It is precisely because we come from a humble family that we should have backbone and not resort to stealing!)”   

I was very mischievous, though I have no impression of that, but that’s what Mum says. 

Being uneducated and not rich, they find the things I pursue very idealistic. But it’s been a few years (since I started doing tarot-readings in food#03), so she’s stopped nagging at me, ’cos she realised however much she nags, things are not gonna change. 

I have one brother, so there’s two of us. Physically, I’m more like Dad. But my stubbornness and hot-temperedness…that’s more like Mum. In primary and secondary school I was really very bad-tempered, but I was lucky to have understanding friends. When I found religion, my character gradually molded and changed for the better. I learnt more about acceptance after I started working, when I found myself in situations that I could not change. These have changed the way I handle things.

*** 

If I could change one thing in my life, I think I should have worked harder for my O-levels. I made a group of good friends during my secondary school life, but still I could have done better for my studies. 

In Sec 4 there was a form teacher, Mrs Ismail. She used to tell us, “It’s okay if you have no idea what to do in life. It’s okay if you have no ambition. But you MUST do well for O-Levels. If you score well you can choose [the course of studies], or else you get chosen by others [the system].” I didn’t realize the importance of this back then. 

To me, life is about lessons. Some people learn once and learn it good and move on with their lives. Some people learn it the hard way and still not getting it and having the same issues repeating in their lives by manifesting in different forms. I believe in the law of attraction and that is why I feel that it is important for us to learn to be mindful of our thoughts and emotions.

 I like to talk to people because I like to hear people’s stories. It is impossible for me to do everything in life and I feel that I can learn a thing or two from the people who do other things, different things, with their lives. For example, a mountaineer can tell me about mountaineering. 

I may not be the best person to say this but I really feel that love is about acceptance and everyone needs to be loved. Sometimes a simple text message like “how are you?” can effect changes in a person’s life. Do you believe it? 

***

I’m a home-grown Singaporean. I think that it is difficult to define ‘who is a Singaporean’ or ‘what makes a Singaporean’. To say that we are kiasu, kiasee, kiaboh (afraid of losing, dying, wife) can be rather stereotyping. I feel that the identity of a Singaporean becomes more complex with the influx of the foreigners. The answer to this may probably be elusive for good.

My favourite food is chai tau kueh (fried carrot cake). I like to have it done in white one and without the chilli. The white one actually gets to test the chef’s skill and I do not have the taste bud for spicy food. 

***

There are things I want to do, but I fear it will not be successful, but I don’t know why. Sometimes I think “不会成功” (will not succeed), just this big fear. Sometimes you will think why you will not succeed, but for me it’s like, just won’t, don’t know why. Now I try to think, heck, just do it.

 I used to do readings at Food#03 on every Friday evenings. Due to personal commitments, I cannot provide my service there every week. I will usually inform Tien with my availability and update in my facebook or twitter. The proceeds of my Friday evening Tarot readings goes to Post-Museum. You can also engage me for private readings. 

It’s an honour for me to provide such a service for people. The eye-opening part is some of their life stories and even how they behave during readings… It helps me learn more about how to deal with life. 

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